I Don't Want To Miss You Like This
by Snippets and Ramblings
Summary: Sam and Andy finally talk after she comes home.


Of course the one day trip to the courthouse turns into an overnight ordeal. As the arresting officer she was only suppose to answer a few simple questions but the that got pushed back when they decided to cross exam the hell of the lead detective (Sam). By the time Andy walks into lobby it's dark and blizzard like. Completely unsafe to drive in. After a few choice curse words she pulls out her cell phone and starts looking for hotels.

"Andy" Sam calls across as he approaches her. His loafers make a hollow sound against the tile "You need a place to crash?"

So. They end up in his suite. Andy claims the couch without any prompting. She is pulling her yoga pants out her bag when "There is a half decent restaurant in the lobby if you wanna grab a bite"

Dinner is silent affair after all the neutral small talk has been exhausted. Andy is pushing around her vegetables when Sam speaks up. "I miss you". Her fork clatters on the plate.

Andy starts to fuss with ears, some dumb tip on how to stay calm she found in a magazine. Traci and her couldn't stop cackling for ages. "Okay" she pauses trying to find the right words. " I don't know what you want that to mean". And jesus christ it's like she's holding a bomb again and there's this huge gap between he has been doing and what he just said.

For a moment Sam looks like a goldfish his mouth opening and closing. Of all the things he expected her to say that wasn't it. " You don't know what it means" He parrots. The fragile look on her face make him feel like the world's biggest asshole.

The look on her face morphs into one a frustration like he told her she can't chase a lead that only seems solid to her. " Yes Sam I don't know" Her tone becomes harsher."You moved on by the time I came back from Dakota. I expected a cold shoulder. I wanted another chance. But you shook my hand and taught your girlfriend to play pool at The Penny. It was like you never dumped me in parking or said "I love you". You treated me like all we've been is coworkers". She takes a shaky breath and reaches for her wine glass. Downs it in one gulp. " So no, I don't you wanted to accomplish by telling me that". She reaches into her purse and pulls out enough notes to cover her half of the meal. "Goodnight Sam"

Sam stalls for a bit, finishing his beer and puttering around on his phone. After an hour or so he finally slips into the room. Andy is fast asleep on the couch drowning in an oversize t-shirt and flannel bottoms he only saw her in a couple times. When he teased her about them she smiled and retorted she had to keep warm somehow when he wasn't there. He pulls blanket and turns off the light. He brushes her damp hair out of her face and presses a kiss to her forehead before he crawls into his own bed. Really wants her to miss him too.

Sam wakes up a few hours later to dim lighting. Andy is sitting on the couch flipping through a girly magazine he forget she liked. "Sorry for waking you " she comments without looking up.

"You haven't been sleeping well" Sam starts. She's wrapped in a sweater he didn't know she had.

"... Since I got back" Andy looks up. Keeps page open on 'How to Tame your Bed Head'. "My shrink says its stress related"

Sam feels the icy swoop of dread settle in his stomach. Judging by how quickly she started to read about the magical properties of the current it hair product he is a major source of insomnia. And Sam just wants to erase the last year. Lay her down on his bed and rub her back until she goes to sleep. " Sweetheart I'm so sorry". Andy just ... looks at him. Sam gets up and sits next to her on the couch. Almost pulls her feet into his lap (after all this time it's still a damn reflex).

"For what Sam?" Andy pulls away, plants her feet on the carpet. He starts to speak but she cuts him off. "For breaking my heart, for moving on, for tonight?" She sets the magazine on the table. Starts rubbing at her temples. The thick of her sweater stretches across her shoulders.

"I don't know" Sam admits after several beats. Really he want to say sorry for everything. But he doesn't know how to start.

Something inside Andy tears at that. She sits up and stares in the eye. Her eyes are way too shiny for her to be okay. " Do you want the simple 'I miss you too' or the whole gory truth"

"The truth" Sam says instantaneously. Braces himself for the heartbreak.

"I miss you so damn much. I really want to hate you but I can't. I just hate myself for being all in when you weren't. By now her foot is tapping violently and she can't even glance at him. " I can't wait until I wake up one morning and all of this is a distance memory. When your name makes me feel nothing. Until you're just some guy I work with. I want to be ready to meet a guy who is going to make me feel special and loved". Her voice starts to crack on the last couple words. She has to swallow a couple times to stop the tears.

Sam feels as broken as she looks. He didn't realize how much she was hurting. He knew how exactly how it feels though. Waking up after she didn't show at the bar and the cold months wondering where she was."Sweetheart"

"What Sam? Was this something you just needed to get off your chest and forgot about in the morning. Or are you going to something about missing me." there is a shaking inhale and then she starts again. " I love you. I can't keeping doing this yes, no, maybe thing. So this is the last time I'm asking this: what do you want?"

Right now Sam needs a lot things, his hands all over her and promises to make this settles for crouching down in front of her, places a hand on her knee to stop that tapping foot. Andy can barely look at him trying to hide herself in that gigantic sweater. Sam want to burn the damn thing, he really does. But first he has to actually talk. "I want you to stop missing me. I want to stop missing you so fucking much" .Andy curls further into herself trying to find shelter from the heartbreak. He rises to his knees thumbs away at her tears. " No its not like that"I And quick smile and shake of his head has Andy looking up." love you. I want to stop missing you by being with you"

Andy starts to sob uncontrollably and wraps herself around him. The only thing she feels is relief as his hands find her back. "Really." A watery smile stretches her face.

"Really. I promise" Sam presses a kiss to her forehead.


End file.
